Wednesday, October 22, 2008

All the small moments



Things I did this weekend:

  • 9 loads of laundry
  • 1 trip to the Farmer’s market
  • 1 trip to the grocery store
  • Put everything back where it belongs, several times
  • Dragged out a storage box of old toys because the kids were bored. They were so excited to see their old toys again they forgot about wanting to go to the toy store.
  • Got the Halloween costumes ready
  • Refilled the birdfeeders
  • Watered the garden
  • Made two meals from scratch and heated up four others; two meals that the kids actually liked
  • Bought 5 new work shirts for Tom, a sweater for me, a dress for Juliana
  • Read 3 bedtime stories
  • Sliced a pound of grapes in half so no one would choke
  • Kissed boo-boos
  • Cleaned the junk out of one cabinet
  • Tried to keep a good attitude even though the pain from my leg is very difficult
  • Took the kids to the library and showed Juliana how to approach a librarian for help with finding a book
  • Gave Sam & Juliana each a bath
  • Made sure Nick took a shower
  • even the dog got a bath
  • Read through the measures and filled out my mail-in ballot
  • Washed many, many dishes
  • Bought two new rose bushes and sweet-talked Tom into planting them
  • Cuddled every child, a lot
  • Finished my book
  • Chased a skunk out of the house, without getting sprayed
  • Watched some of my backlog of Tivo-ed shows
  • Made happy memories with the kids involving Dairy Queen ice cream

sundaes and lots, but still not enough, napkins

  • Paid bills
  • Cleaned up several messes that I saw coming but was unable to avert
  • Helped with homework
  • Drove all over town at least twice
  • Sewed up a hole in Nick’s beloved stuffed animal
  • Gave my family all the love I could give

This is why I am terrified that someday I might not be here for my family. I do so much, I can’t even think of it all to list it down here. And it’s not enough. I need to be here to take care of them, for as long as they need me. Which is a long time. I’ve worked so hard to give the kids happiness, strength, comfort, guidance and love. I pray every night that I get to stay here to finish this job I’ve started. I’m doing a good job; I just want to see it through.


It's not just the chores - the running around town looking for the right witches broom for Juliana's Halloween costume, or picking up the dry cleaning. Tom could do that. It's the smaller moments, the attention and devotion to each child that they will someday recognize as the love that only a mother can provide. Yes, it's the big picture, the whole tapestry of motherhood that I'd miss, but it's in my prayers I ask for a long life filled with those small moments. In the meantime, well, the meantime is where I live each day, and I'm happy to say that so far, my prayers are being answered.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Wound Care and Far-Reaching Messages of Hope

Ema has a wound care nurse that comes once a week to check on her surgery site on her leg. The nurse is very kind and helpful, making sure we have the supplies we need to tend to the wound as well as educating us on the proper care. We are seeing progress in this area - no details here, but the wound is finally starting to heal! The pain in her leg is still bad though, and we are seeking a convenient physical therapy option.

It's been an amazing year. "Traumatic" is the first word that comes to mind. Being able to share these journal entries with everyone has been such an important part of coping with all of the stress. It's heart-warming to see that this blog not only gets regular visits from our family and friends, but also from people all over the world. Whoever you are in Finland that keeps checking the site - hello!

For all of you fighting the fight of your lives - keep it up. Or as Ema would say, "Keep holding on."

Until next time. . .