Each Day is a Tiny Bit Better

I am done with chemo! YAY!!! Thank God!

I had my last chemo on April 17th, and have been feeling awful ever since. But the great thing is that I know that now when I build myself back up, I get to keep it! So wonderful! I can't wait to feel better. My blood counts have been very low. We were considering a blood transfusion a few days ago, but the doctor decided I could build back up on my own. Each day is a tiny bit better.

Now I just need to get another MRI, PET scan and bone biopsy to make sure the mass in my tibia is nothing bad. I'm trying not to think of all that right now. It's a constant challenge not to be ruled by fear. I have to talk myself down all the time. I tell myself that I wouldn't walk down a scary road especially when I'm already weak. So why let my brain go to a scary place now? I'm all set up to have my tests and if they come back bad then we'll deal with it then. I am taking care of my business but I certainly don't need to fret and worry and borrow trouble. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Deal with today and trust that you can do the same tomorrow.

Trust, control and ultimately faith - huge issues!

~Ema