August Update

It's been a while since I've posted anything, so I thought I'd give a quick update. Still cancer-free! Quarterly MRI and CT scans are next month, so we'll undoubtedly have another anxious week or two while we wait for results, but with each round of tests, I think we fare a little better.

That's not to say we've let our guard down though. We realize that our lives post-cancer will never be the same as prior to my diagnosis two years ago. Although this is my second battle with cancer, the first being Hodgkin's disease some 16 years ago, the reality of a relapse seems more tangible now, more possible. Plus I have three children now that I didn’t during my first battle.

Neither Tom nor I try to stifle our fears, rather we do our best to keep them in their place, to quiet them as we move forward. Fear doesn't rule our lives anymore as it tried to do when we were in the thick of things. To say that each day gets a little easier would be an exaggeration. Each month - yes, I think we feel a little better as the months go by and the gap between me and my cancer widens.

My leg has not yet fully healed, believe it or not. The hole that reached to the bone just a couple of months ago looks to be filling in from the inside, but I still have to keep a dressing on the wound. Having an open wound for 15 months is a constant reminder of the cancer, and there's only so many times I can remind myself that "at least I still have a leg," before that too becomes tiresome. But - it's true, and through the pain that still plagues me with each step, this tedious mantra is all I've got for now. Well, that's not entirely true.

My husband brought home a recumbent exercise bicycle a couple of weeks ago and I've been on it every day. The first time I got on it I could barely make one full revolution of the pedals. Then, within a week, I was up to 25 revolutions. Now it's 50, and each day it's getting a little easier. Our hope is that, without the current aid of a physical therapist, this bike will encourage greater range of motion, increased circulation, and promote better venous return. Just riding it encourages me daily as I feel empowered that I'm doing something positive toward helping the leg other than just walking.

I'll write another post after our next test results next month. In the meantime, keep hanging on!